BEASTLY AUNT GEORGINA

Won't someone think of the children, for fucks sake

It’s been a long time since I last read Lord of the Flies, but even so, I’m sorry to report that it did very little to prepare me for being in a school playground, surrounded by a bunch of nine-year-old boys.

The only nine-year-old boy I quite like is my nephew, but obviously I’m biased. He was my reason for being in a playground in the first place, sinc…